THE OLD TESTICLE: A Mini-Bible

                  by  Helen Borel

     (written in 15 minutes in 2015)

Suddenly, out of nowhere, THE VOID, appeared a male entity. (Later on they called him God, so then you could only refer to him as HIM.)  So Him created the heavens and the earth and complimented HimSelf that It was good and Him was Great; in fact, Him turned out to be THE PRIME MOVER UNMOVED.

Anyway, Him did all that (yes, all that) in just 6 days because it was Shabas on the 7th day and even Him

got fatigued.  So Him rested on Saturday.  But Him didn't go to shul at that time, a Gazillion years ago, because there were no synagogues then, in fact there was NO ONE GOD...like HIM...before then.

Someway or another, HIM fashioned darkness, the night, out of THE VOID.  And also HIM squeezed light onto the earth from the heavens (to which no human 

is privy...until, of course, we die...then a select some are allowed in).

Next thing you know, there's these two naked beings in what we'd nowadays call "paradise"
(or a "nudist camp") living it up by the names Adam and Eve (which nowadays is a brand of
Apple Juice).  They never minded their nudity because "awareness" awaited their meeting
with a sly, slithery type...a Serpent.  

(Me?  I always thought the serpent meant a penis, symbolically, you know.)  All that Edenic
life...hmm...minus sex...was about to be ruptured by that snake in the grass.  The reptile
tempted them and they clung to each other sexually, so HIM exiled them forever from their
paradise.

Personally, I think it was because of jealously.  HIM is really asexual, like a Eunuch.
A Unique Eunuch to be sure, but, listen, what can you expect from a "sublime" entity
which is ephemeral, ghostly, sometimes ghastly?  I don't think such an entity has genitals,
frankly. (Oops, I didn't mean the allusion to frankfurters leading to serpents leading to
penises.)  Which doesn't mean HIM can't harbor the Sin of Envy.  (But the Seven Sins
are yet another story...an Apocrypha, so to speak.)  And, since this is a condensed
version of the original BOOK, I can't get into all those other sins people love to indulge
in and/or love to regret.

Ergo, once HIM tossed them on their derrieres out of Eden, someone wrote a book East 
of Eden and they, who now put cloth on their loins, started making babies.  So that's how
our World began.  Then came eons, centuries, decades of complicated stuff...disease, wars,
blood, sweat, tears...and here we are.

And HIM doesn't seem, usually, to give a damn.

(c) Copyright 2015 by Helen Borel    All rights reserved.

I welcome commentaries.  You can reach me directly at revieweb@earthlink.net